Is it Raining in Your Heart

I started writing this song in a season when I felt like I was failing as a mother, far from the mother I had hoped to be. The melody came to me first, soft and unfinished, and I’m still working to discover what the chorus will sound like. I don’t know anything about writing music, but these are the words that rose as I tried to understand my own heart as a young mother of six beautiful children.

Is it Raining in Your Heart.

Is it raining in your heart,
Did you feel that you could play the part
Of the mother you dreamed you'd be,
Did it happen differently?

Did the days rush by too fast,
Were there times you wished would last,
And even though you felt so small
Did you rise up after every fall?
 
Did you hold their hands with love,
Whispering prayers to God above?
As you offered all you had
Trusting God when days felt sad.
 
Were there nights you couldn’t sleep,
As the worries gathered deep,
Did you wonder if your love was heard
In every quiet, trembling word?
 
You gave far more than you ever knew,
Even when the weight felt heavy on you,
And in the moments, no one saw,
God was holding you through it all?

 Chorus

Hearts aren’t shaped by perfection,
But by showing up each day.
Just know that love was in the trying,
In every tear you wiped away.
And though you didn’t see it then,
You are so much more than you believe,
For God was always guiding you
In ways you couldn’t see.

Lamp in the Corner

I wrote this poem as I watched Grandma Pat Kelley slowly lose the abilities she once carried so effortlessly. It made me think of so many of my elderly friends who seem to be pushed aside as younger generations take their place. Yet their worth hasn’t faded. Like a lamp in the corner that still holds light, they remain full of wisdom, memory, and quiet brilliance just waiting for someone to notice, to value, and to gently draw out the glow that’s still there.

At the same time, I’ve come to see that part of our role is to step back and allow the younger ones to walk the paths we’ve already walked. They need room to learn the lessons we’ve gained, to grow through their own experiences, and to discover their own light. But even as they rise, the older generation still shines not in the center of the room anymore, but as a steady, faithful glow that continues to guide, remind, and bless.

The lamp stands in the corner

Tattered and worn
Not quite what it use to be.
But if touched just right
With gentlest of care
The illumination is at hand to see.

But who will take a moment
For this piece left behind
When others have taken its place?
For beauty and style
Seem to be the attraction
Not the memories that once filled that space.

So quietly it sits
In the midst of the new
Broken and bruised by time past.
Collecting only dust
To warm it’s wintry soul
And praying for the end at last.

Just one little touch
That is all it would take
To receive the lamps glorious light.
But so many have forgotten
The brightness that was gained
By one who has vision and sight.

Missing My Sunlight

This poem expresses my experience of losing someone dear and feeling the warmth of their presence fade, much like the sun disappearing behind gathering clouds. It's about the longing and sorrow that come when their light could no longer be felt, even though I knew it was still there. Yet beneath the grief is a quiet, steady hope and a trust that the darkness will not last forever and that the light I once knew would return in a new and brighter way.

As I raise my head to look towards the sky
The rays of the sun work desperately to glisten
Through the clouds slowly forming above where I stand.

How I love the beauty and the warmth I feel
When the waves of light shine upon me
Bringing such brightness after an unlit night.

But little by little the beams begin to fade away
As the sun is covered by the dim shadows
That now surrounds that enormous sphere of light.

I feel the touch of a raindrop as it moistens my skin.
Glancing back to the heavens and seeing the darkness
I know the sun is there, yet I cannot see or feel it.

Though I understand the importance of the rain
I long for the warmth of the sun that is now vanished
And wonder how long it will be before it returns.

Standing still, I wait patiently for the clouds to part
For I know that the sun will shine yet again
With greater light than it had shone once before.

Starlight

I wrote this poem during a quiet moment by the window, when a small interruption drew me into a scene that stirred both memory and gratitude. As I watched the lights, the rain, and the changing season outside, I found myself reflecting on the passing of time, the blessings in my life, and the gentle reminders of God’s presence. What began as a simple glance out the window became a moment of deep pondering and appreciation.  Just an ordinary moment opened up into something more.

A noise, interrupting my thoughts
Took me to the window
But my mind was distracted
From the reason I had been led there.
For in the midst of the darkness
I could see
A sparkle of light
As it reflected from the raindrops
That had collected on the Christmas lights
That adorned the home.

The brisk chill in the air
Was only present through the view of the fallen leaves
And the wind that carried them about as if
Nature was painting a beautiful tapestry
Before my eyes.
A wonderful time and season
Had come once again.
How quickly the year had passed
Leaving me another year older
But another year wiser too.

Though I could see beyond the window,
I discovered that the transparent glass
Had found the ability to serve as a mirror
Reflecting my image into my view.
I looked upon myself as if I was
Seeing my illustration from another view.
Foremost in my thoughts was that of gratitude
For blessing that I had.
How grateful that I encompass
The knowledge the Jesus Christ lives.

I sat back taking a sip of hot cocoa.
The warm drink taking the chill from me
I think about the gifts I had been given.
Knowing that I had been given much,
I asked myself of what gifts
Have I given in return?
Contemplating this thought,
I sat curled up in the warmth
Looking toward the sky
In it’s infamous beauty.

Seasons of Friendship

Time rushes by quickly as I view into the past

Sensitive to where I’ve been and where I’ve come at last.

And as I glance with awe at events now present in each day,

I’m grateful for each season and the paths along the way.

It seems that just yesterday I was in the springtime of my life

Sharing seeds with all around me through the joy and through the strife.

For that awakening in my childhood and the freshness of those years

Gave birth to a special friendship that was so loving and so dear.

Then came the summer of refinement when the sun would scorch my back

As I saw some seeds I’d planted wither from the water they did lack.

I had put aside the attention that a certain yield would need

And lost the reward of a friendship through the thickness of my own weeds.

But in the coolness of this autumn as I reap what I have sowed

I see a crop of good and plenty as I matured in what I’ve come to know.

For a seed that once was planted in the springtime of my youth

Has survived the fiery sting of summer and opened a door of truth.

And when it’s time for winter and the crops are stricken bare

May I keep my cup full by showing my friend that I still care.

For when that yield seems lost because the falling of snow above

I know it will live on because it was planted with true love.

The Roads I Choose

I wrote this poem during a season of growing into adulthood, when I began to realize that life would not always be simple or predictable. I was learning that the choices I make carry weight, and that I could no longer depend on others to guide every step. This reflection became a turning point for me—a moment of recognizing my need for divine direction and the importance of choosing wisely. The poem captures that shift, from childhood dependence to personal responsibility, and the quiet strength that comes from trusting the Lord to lead the way.

In the morning of my life

I did not know what to do.

The world felt calm and simple then

As I leaned on both of you.

Laughter came so easily,

While tears stayed far behind.

I never knew the weight of pain,

The sun seemed to always shine.

But now I see with clearer eyes

That life is not the same.

I stand before a choice today

That may define my name.

I turn unto the Lord for help,

For guidance and direction,

So every step I choose to take

Will serve as my protection.

For now I know through trials faced

And lessons carved in strife,

The roads I choose to walk each day

Will shape the course of life.

Lost

This poem was written during a time when I felt uncertain and emotionally weighed down. I was searching for clarity, trying to understand my place in a changing world. Even in the midst of confusion and longing, I began to see that hope still lives in tomorrow. This piece reflects the struggle to hold on, the quiet strength that rises in the heart, and the reminder that even when we feel lost, we are never truly without direction. There is always light ahead.

Lost.

Unable to find,
Who I am.
Logically, I know,
Emotionally perplexed.
Confused.
Not knowing
Where I belong.
Feelings,
Undefined.
What use to be
Is gone.
New time of life
Bringing changes
In my roles.
Fighting tears.
Struggling for something
That seems out of reach.
Weighed down.
Wanting,
But can’t have.
Fighting an inner war.
Unable to express
To others
Needs I feel within.
Knowing what is right
But tempted by
Desires to give up
For an easier way.
Sometimes loosing
The will to live,
But understanding
The joy of what I have.
I must not quit.
Longing for more
Yet I am rich with blessings.
Frustrated.
Can’t be
What I want to be
And starving for
What I can’t have.
Yet, I go on and
Find hope in tomorrow
Knowing that I have
So much more than
Others may ever have.
Understanding, that maybe
I am not so lost.

The Journey of Us

I wrote this many years ago not expecting my dear husband to leave this world as soon as he did. I love how it reflects a journey of love shared across seasons and landscapes. It speaks of connection, memory, and the beauty found in walking together through life’s joys and trials. Though it ends with goodbye, it carries the quiet assurance that love leaves a lasting imprint. Even in parting, there is tenderness. Even in sorrow, there is hope.  Our love and our marriage is eternal and I am excited for the time when we will be reunite in love and purpose!

Our hearts are clasped as one
While we walk along the shore,
Speaking softly of the years
That came and went before.

We look into each other’s eyes,
We listen and we laugh,
Through fields of countless flowers
We share our journey’s path.

Our hands remain together,
A grip that whispers “safe,”
As we stand upon the mountain
And recall the trials we’ve faced.

Our feet are worn and weary
From the roads we’ve had to tread,
Yet the beauty of the forest
Draws me closer to you instead.

And with arms around each other,
A love we won’t deny,
The splendor of the moonlight
Holds the tears of our goodbye.

Fallen

I do not remember the exact reason for expressing these thoughts. I obviously wrote this during a time when longing stirred up feelings that were tender and unresolved. It was a moment of recognizing that some desires may never be fulfilled, yet they still carry beauty.

I see this today with a message of learning to receive a gift that may ache but also soothe. Even when I cannot fully explain what I feel, I trust that God understands. And in that trust, I find peace.

Today I continue to have some desires that are on hold!

Fallen
Back into time
Feelings and emotions
Stirred up
So tender, so sweet
With heart
Pounding,
Palms sweating
But no way
To fulfill
Desires
Bundled up inside.
Searching for
Words
To express
Emotions
But no language
Can utter
The thoughts
That run through
Every
Vein of my soul.
Finally
Forced to turn away,
Understanding
The truth
Of where I’m
At and what will
Never be.
I must enjoy
And appreciate
This gift
On a level
That may hurt,
But can bring
Joy
In ways that
Brush my heart
With soothing
Softness
That only
Maybe He
Can fully
Understand.

Different Roads

This poem reflects the feelings I carried when a dear friend moved away.

We’re parting now for different roads,

And we will be apart.

I cannot bear the thought of you,

So distant from my heart.

I think about the things we’ve shared,

The friendship and the time;

And wonder if our memories

Can stand the test of time.

The sun, the moon, and all the stars

Watch over both our hearts.

Such beauty that we both can share,

Even though we’re far apart;